Hello to whoever’s reading! I know YouTube has been my thing for the past few publishing days but I had to delay my current draft because one: it’s not ready, and two: it’s not where I want it to be, so I’ll just summarize what’ll be in next week’s video, which is my high school experience.

Freshman year: A blurred mess that left me more depressed than anything. I was one of the new students from a different district, so I already felt like an outsider once I stepped into the building. I quickly made friends but still felt out of place, oddly enough. I was a shy kid at the time, so I struggled with having a voice until the end of the year (but even then, the voice I have now is really just for school).

Sophomore year: Brought out the worse in me. I got mean for no reason—there’s a reason for everything, and the reason why I was so mean is because I had to keep whatever walls I had up and not be my actual self (so mask my true self, which is what I still do honestly). I lost a few friends over this year while also experiencing a lot of personal problems.

Junior year: I’d rather not relieve it. It was basically a repeat of what happened to me in seventh grade (a big friend group disintegrating) but with new faces. It was a mess, to keep things short, and my work ethic was worse than what it is now. I slipped into a depressive episode but kept it away from my friends just so they didn’t have to worry.

Senior year: I just want it to end already. I’m ready for a fresh start, a new page in my life. I hate 90% of my grade, so it makes no sense for me to say I like everyone when I don’t. I’m really fed up with everyone and everything, and I feel embarrassed when it comes to a lot—like I’m embarrassing as a person or whatever I do embarrasses me. I know that’s not true but it sometimes feels like it.

When this story gets turned into a video, I’ll obviously expand on everything and be detailed to the best of my abilities, and I hope this wasn’t too depressing. But I hope my experience showed that not everyone’s high school years are good, let alone great.