Have you ever wondered what red flags look like in a friendship/relationship? Well, look no further because for today’s opinion piece, Kaitlyn, Haylie, Brooklyn, and Abbi have teamed up to give insight on what red flags look like—both in adults and teenagers. If you’re curious about whether you’re experiencing a red flag but can’t pinpoint it, or you’re wondering whether or not you might have a red flag of your own, then keep reading!
DISCLAIMER: Interviews from the therapist, Mrs. Lyon, and Mr. Novak have been slightly edited due to how all over the place they were.
Therapist: “I think a lot of times, too, is that people get confused with, like…being excited and infatuated by someone. And also, like, ‘what is a relationship supposed to look like?’, and I think a lot of times, too, like, kids your age…they either don’t have, like, a good representation of what a healthy relationship looks like. They’re either comparing it to their other friends or, like, just random adult relationships, movies, and things like that. I think a lot of times people do have their parents to look at too, but you guys aren’t always comfortable talking to your parents about, like, what the real deal of relationships are. I also think, too, that the ups and downs [of relationships are significant]. Today was a really good day, but yesterday, we just fought all day. Like, that is not a normal cycle that healthy relationships should be. And I think, too, we don’t know that. We’re like ‘oh, but today was so good.’ And if you see people who are trying to take you away from your friends, or kind of isolate you…that’s a red flag. Or if they’re kind of manipulative with, like, how you spend your time, and how they’ll make themselves look better than people you’ve trusted for a long time.”
Novak: “Cheating’s bad, definitely a red flag for me by all means. Not being independent is one too, because I’m, like, busy throughout the day. Let’s say my partner gets done with work at five—that’s when most people get done, right? But like, I don’t get done till eight, nine, almost every night. So if they don’t have something to do in those few hours, they get all… ‘where are you?’ So independence is definitely something I’d prefer with my partner.”
Lyon: “So I definitely think that, um, especially in friendships—but also relationships…one giant red flag is if they don’t take an interest in your life also. And essentially, like…if it’s just ‘oh, I did this, I did that, me me me’ and then you offer some tidbit information about you and ignore [what they just said about their day/life], like…that shows that they’re a narcissist in my personal opinion. It just means that they only care about themselves. Um, I think too, like…if suddenly, you’re in a relationship and that person [someone close] stops talking to you because of their partner, then that’s a huge red flag because they’re isolating you. And it’s love bombing in a sense.”
Camila Fleury: “Acting different among friends, unreciprocated love/feelings, being nonchalant, and treating me like everybody else, not having a balance of friendship like lovey dovey.”
Payton Harvey: “Making weak excuses for breaking up and being too friendly with other people.”
